This was something I wrote during the first few weeks we were here.
I went to check out a church this morning.
I cried through a lot of it...because it wasn't the River.
It wasn't Steve leading worship, or James on drums. It wasn't Karin welcoming everyone and saying an opening prayer. It wasn't PJ teaching. it wasn't David doing announcements. It wasn't hugs from all of the fabulous people I love.
It was good and i'm going to have John check it out....but it was so hard to be open-minded, because it wasn't what I love.
This church part sucks. We left our family and we will visit from time to time. We're not trying to make other parents or have other grandparents fill in. We're not replacing them. But we're supposed to find another church and be committed and love them. Currently I don't see how that's possible. I'm sitting here bawling because that just doesn't seem feasible. How can I love another the way I love the River???? This sucks for me. My heart is still so connected to the River tribe.
God, help me to learn to love another church family. Lead us to the place where YOU want us. Help us not to waste time at the wrong places, but to connect quickly.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Church, Part 2
The process of looking for a church has been wearisome at the least. There were 2 churches that we were checking out when we first got here. Both of them within 5-10 minutes and both church plants meeting in school auditoriums.
In August, I visited a church by myself one Sunday morning. It had a lot of good aspects....except no one but for the greeter at the door said hello to me! I was in shock. In fact it angered me. I cry during every service of a church I visit. I slowly left the church walking by lots of people and even looking some in the eye and made it to my car without even a head nod. I got in, shut the door and started crying. Here I am a guest, longing for connection, wanting to find a church home. And NO ONE said hello! (The greeter doesn't count...he had to!) I started driving away, blurred vision from the hot tears. I got about 3 blocks away, and turned my car around. I drove back to that church, parked my car and went back in. I found the pastor's wife and pulled her aside. Crying, I told her what had happened. I told her the worship was great, the message super...but no one said hello to me! She apologized and made some excuses about it being thet 5th Sunday and they forgot to schedule more greeters. I told her that's fine...but if they want to grow as a church and reach all these people, the body has to start paying attention. Not just the greeters or the staff members...but everyone. I told her I would come visit again, but that she needed to know there was a gaping HOLE in their ministry.
I don't know if I scared her half to death or just freaked her out to no end, but I felt someone at that church needed to know. Not for me...but for the next really hurting person who walks through their door.
I called Karin that night and related the story to her. She made a very good point. She said that ministry happens from the top down. Priorities happen from the top down. Warmth and care begins with the pastors and if a church is missing that, then it is probably not super important to the leadership of that church.
Hmmm. Of course, it crossed my mind, that perhaps I was to fill this gaping hole in this church. People are my passion. Connecting people to one another and creating an atmosphere of warmth and care and personal touch is extremely important to me. But, I was not feeling that from the Holy Spirit.
A few weeks went by and no one from that church ever contacted me. The pastor's wife knew my name and my story, and yet, never made a phone call or sent a letter. It kind of confirmed that that was not the church for us. It saddened me and angered me.
In August, I visited a church by myself one Sunday morning. It had a lot of good aspects....except no one but for the greeter at the door said hello to me! I was in shock. In fact it angered me. I cry during every service of a church I visit. I slowly left the church walking by lots of people and even looking some in the eye and made it to my car without even a head nod. I got in, shut the door and started crying. Here I am a guest, longing for connection, wanting to find a church home. And NO ONE said hello! (The greeter doesn't count...he had to!) I started driving away, blurred vision from the hot tears. I got about 3 blocks away, and turned my car around. I drove back to that church, parked my car and went back in. I found the pastor's wife and pulled her aside. Crying, I told her what had happened. I told her the worship was great, the message super...but no one said hello to me! She apologized and made some excuses about it being thet 5th Sunday and they forgot to schedule more greeters. I told her that's fine...but if they want to grow as a church and reach all these people, the body has to start paying attention. Not just the greeters or the staff members...but everyone. I told her I would come visit again, but that she needed to know there was a gaping HOLE in their ministry.
I don't know if I scared her half to death or just freaked her out to no end, but I felt someone at that church needed to know. Not for me...but for the next really hurting person who walks through their door.
I called Karin that night and related the story to her. She made a very good point. She said that ministry happens from the top down. Priorities happen from the top down. Warmth and care begins with the pastors and if a church is missing that, then it is probably not super important to the leadership of that church.
Hmmm. Of course, it crossed my mind, that perhaps I was to fill this gaping hole in this church. People are my passion. Connecting people to one another and creating an atmosphere of warmth and care and personal touch is extremely important to me. But, I was not feeling that from the Holy Spirit.
A few weeks went by and no one from that church ever contacted me. The pastor's wife knew my name and my story, and yet, never made a phone call or sent a letter. It kind of confirmed that that was not the church for us. It saddened me and angered me.
Mmmm....Starbucks
I'm sitting here enjoying a vanilla latte and feeling so good.
I think Starbucks really does put an addictive chemical in their coffee (that makes you crave it fortnightly....).I told John, it really makes a difference in my afternoon. I'm not grumpy, or irritable....I have lots of patience and energy...I laugh more, I'm eager to accomplish tasks around the house...I'm just a better person all around.
I've wondered if owning an espresso machine would help. Its the espresso factor...not just the caffeine in coffee. Would I make it? Would it taste the same? John said part of what I like is the comfort of someone else making it....true. Perhaps I could teach John? :)
Well, I'm anxious for them to build our new Starbucks. I have no idea when the target date is...but definitely too far from now. So, just so I make it clear....I would definitely appreciate Starbucks cards for Christmas or anytime you want to send a little pick-me-up in the mail. Trust me, my whole family will be grateful.
I think Starbucks really does put an addictive chemical in their coffee (that makes you crave it fortnightly....).I told John, it really makes a difference in my afternoon. I'm not grumpy, or irritable....I have lots of patience and energy...I laugh more, I'm eager to accomplish tasks around the house...I'm just a better person all around.
I've wondered if owning an espresso machine would help. Its the espresso factor...not just the caffeine in coffee. Would I make it? Would it taste the same? John said part of what I like is the comfort of someone else making it....true. Perhaps I could teach John? :)
Well, I'm anxious for them to build our new Starbucks. I have no idea when the target date is...but definitely too far from now. So, just so I make it clear....I would definitely appreciate Starbucks cards for Christmas or anytime you want to send a little pick-me-up in the mail. Trust me, my whole family will be grateful.
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