Saturday, September 29, 2007

Church, Part 1

This was something I wrote during the first few weeks we were here.

I went to check out a church this morning.

I cried through a lot of it...because it wasn't the River.

It wasn't Steve leading worship, or James on drums. It wasn't Karin welcoming everyone and saying an opening prayer. It wasn't PJ teaching. it wasn't David doing announcements. It wasn't hugs from all of the fabulous people I love.

It was good and i'm going to have John check it out....but it was so hard to be open-minded, because it wasn't what I love.

This church part sucks. We left our family and we will visit from time to time. We're not trying to make other parents or have other grandparents fill in. We're not replacing them. But we're supposed to find another church and be committed and love them. Currently I don't see how that's possible. I'm sitting here bawling because that just doesn't seem feasible. How can I love another the way I love the River???? This sucks for me. My heart is still so connected to the River tribe.

God, help me to learn to love another church family. Lead us to the place where YOU want us. Help us not to waste time at the wrong places, but to connect quickly.

1 comment:

April Spicer said...

Oh Kate. How my heart hurts for you. I wish so badly I could have been there. I am really very proud of you for going in and telling someone how you felt and what was missing. I bet hardly anyone ever does that. And it does surprise me a lot that no one ever contacted you. However, as you said, maybe that is what you needed to know in order to move on with your search. I love that you have such a passion for people and I know God will plug you in and put it to use very soon. I miss you!